Creating Balanced Relationships
by Lisa Renee, Energetic Synthesis
June 30, 2015
In Ascension context, the synthesizing of the pairs of energetic opposite into unity is also referred to as polarity integration, energetic synthesis or spiritual marriage. This also has the exact same meaning when applied to gender unification which is the energetic balance between the masculine principle and feminine principle. To biologically evolve through the ascension process, the energetic balance between the masculine and feminine energies within the self must be continually unified, so that we reach the ultimate Cosmic Unity in Christ Consciousness. We cannot evolve unless we can heal our bodies by restoring energetic balance to our consciousness. The first ever written reference to each person having a destined mate was given from the ancient Greek philosopher, Plato (427 BC-348 BC). Plato’s theory was that each human being is part of one soul, in which they only have half of. That the soul was “split-apart” and separated from each other, and the two halves are forever searching for one another in order to join together and regain their sense of original created divine wholeness. As beautifully stated by Sri Aurobindo, “The supreme state of human love is the unity of one soul in two bodies.”
Thus, every relationship we have is designed for spiritual development to evolve us back into wholeness. Especially now at the time of ascension, humanity is extremely impacted by the changes that have occurred to the male-female dynamic as it connects to our personal spiritual growth.
Most people are unaware that many relationships on planet today are directly attracted by the spirit self in order to resolve past ancestral patterns, clear blockages, and integrate forces of polarity to achieve unity. All relationships are directly designed for personal growth and spiritual expansion. At this time relationships will collapse or destruct from the energetic imbalances which apply pressure of ego needs, desires and expectations. Without this evolutionary context towards relationships, one is left confused and potentially manipulated by unhealed personal pain. That personal pain is potentially manipulated by dark forces that keep fear as the primary wound which is used to keep the person disempowered in stagnant belief systems or destructive relationship settings. Hence, we must stop creating relationships based on fear programming, and start to learn how to build the balanced relationship template of spiritually loving relationships.
In these new energies, many intimate relationships that are emotionally or spiritually stagnant are being forced to change, adapt, or come to conclusion. When something concludes and ends, another doorway appears and opens to new beginnings. Embrace these changes if they occur as they are divine interventions to protect your heart and soul to catalyze your true spiritual purpose. This action is sourced in spiritual freedom.
This is why it is important to understand that it is our individual responsibility to address our unhealed pain and emotional issues and not project or thrust them upon our partner. We have to learn how to build a strong platform for the energies of trust, mutual respect and unconditional love to thrive in our relationships. If we can comprehend that all relationships we have are not random and that they manifest from our inner blueprint, there is divine purpose of which to discover why that relationship has come into manifestation. The question is not if the person is your twin soul or genetic equal, but to address the relationship as a divine puzzle piece that you must discover its true meaning in your life and its divine purpose for both parties. If you have a relationship now in your life, there is a spiritual purpose for that relationship. Without this evolutionary context of comprehending the true meaning behind all relationships, we can easily get stuck in painful patterns that are confusing and be falsely directed through our ego wounding.
Most people that have unresolved pain or ego wounding and refuse to address these inner emotional issues tend to have problems with selfishness. When we study Service to Self and egoic behaviors, it is clear that the most destructive element in all human relationships is SELFISHNESS. The Spirit of Selfishness kills everything in its path, and it is the first cause of killing relationships. Selfish people are committed only to himself or herself, are impatient and are terrible choices as spouses or partners. It is healthy for a person to protect oneself when in relationships with narcissistic personalities, thus, a degree of balance between placing personal boundaries and unconditional love is required. Placing boundaries and protecting oneself is not selfish, it is an action of self-respect. We must know ourselves to take care of our heart and recognize patterns of abuse, blackmail or untrustworthiness, and begin to take steps to address those destructive patterns head on in order to heal them. When we are willing to dig deep into ourselves, be honest and put our guts on the table, we are able to surface the subconscious levels of our mind and heal this painful wounding from our past. This can also be extremely healing for our partner to witness this event with us, as revealing issues can dissolve hidden tensions for both parties. However, many people that are insecure, have low self-esteem or are people pleasers, can easily misplace their trust in others, which easily sets up the victim-victimizer patterns. To stop playing out those patterns in our relationships, we have to see and understand what the purpose of that relationship is and understand the foundation it was created upon. As an example, if your relationship was founded upon deception, the need for approval, security fears, or sex, none of these are strong qualities of which to grow the foundation for a balanced and healthy relationship. Thus, if you can see that core seed in your relationship’s foundation, you can start to heal that and choose to build stronger qualities, which will either transform your current relationship, or end it. This will bring the right person aligned to those energetic qualities that you are consciously participating to manifest.
When we do not understand that the relationships we have all contain purpose for spiritual growth and have been set up for mutual learning or balancing energetic exchanges, we can be confused and keep repeating the exact same patterns with many subsequent partners. We make the mistake to believe the partner is at fault for our unhappiness and discontent, and feel a new partner will make all those problems go away. This is wrong thinking of which will only set up continual relationship misery and emotional pain with many partners. At whatever level you are involved in a relationship, the first important step is to inquire to directly formulate the questions that you intuit on learning about its greater purpose in your life. One cannot create the ultimate relationship until you learn how to master some levels of yourself. Be the kind of loving partner that you would like to have, even if that is not the reality right now. Here are some guidelines of which to evolve and grow intimate relationships and help to support unconditionally loving and balanced unions:
- Purpose Meditate and ask yourself and your higher power why this relationship has manifested into your life, and to reveal its true spiritual purpose for your life. Inquire on the lessons that need to be learned and what levels of self-mastery are needed in the relationship exchange of energies. What is the growth lesson of your relationship?
- Communicate Successful relationships contain partners that communicate easily and as much as possible. They are able to discuss day to day events and schedules but also can speak easily about personal hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. Both partners allow the space for communication to occur and agree to make it safe for their partner to express themselves and always be treated respectfully and honestly. They discuss the changes that are taking place in their own hearts and souls, the deepest and most intimate parts of what is really meaningful to them. This essential key cannot be overlooked because honesty, direct and compassionate communication is the foundation for building a strong platform for creating balanced and loving relationships. Without communication, mutual trust cannot be built and shared between the partners. Communication is the basis of the relationship platform of which many more higher qualities of virtues can be manifested, such as; personal responsibility, commitment, patience, and acceptance. As we value, respect and invest in our relationship, these actions bring increased value to the relationship which may evolve into a successful marriage that manifests an abundance of mutual joy, peace and happiness.
- Personal Responsibility When we are in relationship and we have decided to be in that relationship, we must take personal responsibility. This means that you agree to accept responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and sensations, without blaming your partner. You are responsible for your experience knowing you created it for a purpose and accept that fact fully. You mean what you say, and your words have meaning.
- Open Honesty When we are clear about our personal responsibility, then we are capable to be fully open and honest in our communication about how we may feel or how we perceive our relationship experience. Being open and honest allows us to share freely about our deepest feelings and observations, as we do not blame our partner and we can trust they are also in agreement to not blame us either. When we are open and honest we are holding the other person in harmlessness, intending to share deep and intimate feelings to connect, bond and enjoy. When being open and honest you are not deceiving or pretending, there is nothing to defend or justify. It is communicating how it is for you in the moment, and being real and authentic in how you feel. When you are open and honest you create the space for your partner to be open and honest. You do not need to be commiserated with, force opinions, or try to change the person you are with. You share openly and honestly and allow mutual conversation with non-judgment.
- Listening Presently When we value and respect our partner, we create the space to listen presently. This is being fully present in the moment and truly listening to what your partner is communicating. Sometimes, when we listen we will feel the words being spoken and receive impressions of the emotions our partner is feeling. Listening Presently is being able to hear and understand sometimes what is not being said directly in words. The meaning is being conveyed through the energetic and emotional intelligence that your partner is expressing. If we are not present, we can only talk around or about the topic and we are not able to be presently aware of what is being communicated. True listening requires dropping defensiveness or not invalidating and diminishing what you partner is saying that is important to them. These are ultimately generous actions to learn the ways you can give of yourself, when you are truly listening to your partner.
- Acceptance In the moment, when we accept the honest and open dialogue of which both partners allow a safe space for each other, we create the opportunity for the relationship to organically grow. The power of acceptance is made through the act of acceptance and neutrality, of which change and evolution occurs naturally on its own. We must accept and change our negative ego beliefs that we are “putting up with something”, in order to transform ourselves and thus transform our relationship. One can acknowledge specific behavior or actions as not acceptable, such as in breaking trust, but acceptance is included in acknowledging that fact.
- Trust Strong relationships are based on mutual trust in each other, and this includes releasing control over the relationship’s expectation. When we are insecure and use manipulation to assert control in our relationship, we ultimately doom the relationship to be very unhappy for both parties. When we are using the ego defense mechanism of controlling our relationship and partner, we are manifesting the thing we are afraid will happen if we give up and surrender control. This is the basis of placing trust in the highest purpose of the relationship and listening to the messages that show us how we can improve ourselves.
- Commitment This has been the source of relationship fears for many people who do not understand what it means or simply do not want to grow up and be responsible. What this truly means is that, I act in accordance to what I say, and that I am my word. I express to my partner what I am unwilling to do, but my words are truthful and honest.
- Forgiveness When we can recognize and respect our partner as an individual person with their own likes and dislikes, we can accept them as they are, foibles and all. Forgiveness is realizing we are human and allowing the humanity in our partner to be seen and recognized. When there is a break in trust, or negative emotions there is the sincere attempt for the partner to work this out compassionately and help to release these negative feelings. Forgiveness is for our benefit, as when we forgive ourselves and our partner, we are released of the burdens we carry.
As we comprehend the Ascension is radically changing our relationships on this earth, we can use these guidelines as tools to help support our spiritual growth and start to build the new template of hierogamic union which changes the way we think and communicate with our partner. This new template is the balanced, healthy, joyful and loving relationships of the coming age and you are the forerunners creating this now on earth!
As we heal soul fragmentation and restore energetic balance, we transform our heart from being split apart back into wholeness. In dedication to manifesting our highest potential and Hieros Gamos union, may this poem be inspirational to your heart.
SPLIT-APARTS TO SOULMATES
We are brought into this world as split-aparts, as two,
one true bond separated, there’s a me, there’s a you.
To go through one life, maybe two, three, could be more,
going in different directions, until we find the same door.
Something always pulling us to-wards the same direction,
this was well planned long ago, at the start of creation.
For we are two halves, lost to each other, or so it seems,
only catching certain glimpses while we sleep, while we dream. ….
The time may not be right now, for it’s not what God planned,
but the day will come and we will join, together we will stand.
I know you are right, we have done this many times before,
and each time we become closer and we feel that there’s more. ….
Sometimes I sit and wonder about what a soul-mate is,
and I search deep down inside me and I believe it is this.
A soul-mate is one half of a true being, my half is you,
someone you can’t hide from, no matter what you do. ….
The Love that our heart feels, only we can share together.
For it’s a long deep lasting Love that’s meant to last forever.
The joy that we feel, to the tears that fall down our face,
the laughter in our hearts, to the saltiness that we can taste. ….
We don’t feel complete unless we’re by each other’s side,
to walk through this life as one, each other as our guide.
When you have searched each and every life through,
you know that there’s never going to be another match for you. ….
For when we have found that other half, together we become one,
and the journey of searching is over, a new one just begun.
No longer split-aparts, but soul-mates rekindled at last,
linked together we have been, from way back in our past…..
Now that God’s plan has finally brought us together,
no more separated lives, but eternity together forever.
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This article originally posted HERE.